There was a mark on my right hand just near the elbow, underside, where my skin is hairless. I sit on the cafe table at the bookshop and roll over my sleeves, to check whether, it is still there or long lost? I heal fast.
Immersed in the night:
My thoughts Incoherent babbles: My nights Mingled in a concoction of distortion: My life Perfection in pandemonium: My soul Some sort of trouble: My emotions Harmony in destruction: My love Tedious in peace: My
silence Some brewing conspiracy:
My Peace Deluded from the dark:
My optimism The darkest light: My
hopes A series of mirage: My
And in the dark, I
loom No, I am living and
happy about it It’s the patterns you
see Carved to perfection
and distorted to exist It’s in the abyss I
find my zenith The dew of the morning
is an acid I find my solace in
the night frost I wake up in the
morning But ever awakened in
the night Am I living in my
dreams or my dreams are living me? Within my soul lies
deep a secret Beyond this life and
this reincarnated myth But, it is in
everything between life and death Beautiful lies that my
soul planted Through the lives and
its many journeys Shades and layers:
That’s my soul laid bare Yes, bare soul lying
on the post mortem table Of the dimension…
So, as I pack my bags again to return to Kolkata from Odisha my mother asks me a question.
"You will be travelling alone in a night train."
I look at her and then the thought strikes, most of the time (99.9%) she does not know that I am travelling alone. The second line of thought is well she is my mother, if she will not worry then who else will.
When I look back in time, it has been over a decade of solo travelling. It started from the time I entered college and luckily this phase is still going strong. I read at places how unsafe solo travelling is for a woman especially in India. However, I believe I am lucky to be born in India and one of the reasons behind is that this country has immense beauty and enigma in every bit and corner (really... "Main toh tera jabra fan ho gaya").
Anyway coming to my point, there are advantages of being a solo traveler and I cannot trade it with company.
1. My Travel My Rules: Have you ever tried going out with a group of people? There…
Old haunting is the best one They stay within you And you visit them often They are mist surrounded When you first lay your eyes on them Within you they grow And they deceive you You did not ever know Then while you look back They again come back to you You remember the haunting And now that your innocence is snatched Ignorance has long shed its last tear You see, the reason they haunted The mist is clear The sun shines And you look back and smile They are now with you You feel the warmth of old blanket It is still there, the old mist lingers Your old aroma in them is still fresh The days bygone are within you Those warm nights with cool breeze Sing a song and you smile There is a pause And in this pause lies your life. (This one song was in my head for the entire week, It haunted me as a child, It now brings a smile...)
This is the view I am seeing as I write on this post. The 1000 rupee or more question is why do we do the things we do? What compels us to act or behave in a particular way? Why does our perception change from one individual to another? Open up the brain and you will get the same structure, the same frontal lobe, the same medula oblongata. So, why is the cool girl beside me sitting there with two hot guys and chatting on and I a married person is sitting alone after completing hordes of assignment by noon. I have the answer because I chose to embrace the indifference of one guy leaving the attention of others. Off late some people had a strong objection albeit disgust to my wacky sense of humour or my satirical tongue. It keeps me thinking that weather I should hold my horses? You know my horses or mare to be put appropriately are kicking a lot of ass lately. No, by ass I didn't mean the nether region used by humans for sitting and as rappers from around the world put it for shaki…
Some things in life should be better left unattainable. There is a certain charm in the chase. When you chase skies, you never reach any closer, yet they lure you with their incessant mirage. There is a thirst that you are addicted to and no amount of elixir can save you from dying of it. If I had gone to my elders with this condition, they would pronounce it to be a fatal disease. The one that you invite to satiate the luxury of a curious mind but it grips you in the trance. When we talk of trance then it is the most natural and blissful state. Even when we slowly wither away leaving nothing but crumbles behind. These crumbles are nothing but our existence in the world. The roles that we play when we are here, alive and breathing.
Now, he will sit at that bamboo pole, curious and searching. I wonder what he is up to? Yesterday, it was he who sat there still for an entire span of fifteen minutes and then bend his head out of some curiosity or in contemplation of a master plan. I was looking at him all the time and he, as usual he does not notice me. Let's say, I do not have the mesmerizing scent he is searching for.