The crazy thing Marriage is

Marriages!!!! a big deal, a colossal affair!!!! A pandemonium, an utter chaos of sorts!!!! The most important day in the girl's life, she has to look her best in her entire life! This day you crossover, you begin a new life. Yes, your marriage day is important but how important! Is it so important that you spend beyond your means to make the day grand? The most expensive sarees, the most famous make up artist, hours in the beauty parlour, spa, shopping till you drop; will all this guarantee a happy married life? May be no. Marriage Day is so overrated that we stop thinking about the days that lie ahead of us all preparations focus on the "Marriage and The Honeymoon" and no thought is given after that, we get deluded that our entire life will be "a honeymoon" and then we get a real shocker...... Oops! this is not the person I fell in love with! Before marriage if you are not living in together you see each other for a few hours in a day or even weeks and in some cases months, talk over on the phone buy gifts and try to be at your best, I will share an incident on my first night I was kicked out of my bed by my husband in his sleep, he had mistaken me for "Debashish", his second cousin with whom he shared his bed before marriage, well I woke him up and cleared his confusion That I am Datta and not Debashish and his first reaction "OMG! what are you doing here!What if our parents know!How did you get in!" and the second moment he realized that we are married and laughed our hearts out.

Marriage is actually not a day's affair but it's an evolution, a culmination, an effort of many years. It's living and loving together, it's not falling in love but staying in love. "Happily Ever After" is not a fairy tell, it's a hard reality and we have to fight for it everyday to keep it alive.

Marriage Day is just the start not even the complete tip of the iceberg, it's not a grand show it's the beginning of a journey amongst smaller things of life. You get married in a shabby saree it doesn't matter unless your effort, combined effort to build a relationship, a family together is beautifully ordained.

I didn't look the best in my marriage day people said that and now three years after that day people say I look wonderful even in the simplest of all attire. Come to think of  it my marriage is going well, the reason I look better than my marriage day everyday because I am happy, he gives me bliss, I feel peace in his company, My life with it's hopes aspirations and frustrations is the same but now the pain is easier to bear and happiness is a real bliss to share with him and now that I look back, my so called economical, lack lustre marriage does not matter because I see me putting efforts in a relationship in building a family, I see him putting his efforts int the same direction as my effort.

Doubts? yes, there are times when I am in doubt, there are times I fall out of love and feel that this relationship is just for namesake I live in this numbness, in this state of no being in love for many months but I never give up on the hope that I will again fall in love with him and I do fall in love with him.

No, he is not rich, he is less qualified and less in intellect than me, he is just average and we both have to work hard to maintain an average middle class living but it feels good when he walks with me to save that ten rupees. People say that I could have got a better qualified person, a better husband and truly sometimes I succumb to the feeling but then again I clear my doubts as I know I won't get a man who could have loved me, understand me more.

In this road we have committed mistakes but then we come back to each other and confess. Truth is the essence, trust is the soul of a relationship and a grand marriage doesn't guarantee that a grand patience is needed to actually share your life with some one else, see the best and worst of a person in a same day. To buy grocery, to fix the tap, to iron the clothes, to buy that much needed shelf, to get the creaking door fixed.....eats up on your valentine's day gift, your books, that dress, those romantic dates. To understand each others family, to consider them your own needs patience and sometimes feeds like a parasite on your love for each other. Still you hold on and respect each other and accept a person with all the flaws and then one day after many years you realize that finally you have crossovered....finally your marriage ceremony is complete....but is it really?

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